Unnoticed
by TOXiK
Summary: Kuroo can't understand why he didn't realize what Bokuto was going through. Part Two of series Ideas To Destroy Yourself: Think little of yourself and hope others follow your example.


Dejected mode, they called it throughout high school. It was whenever he kept getting blocked, where his resolve would weaken and he'd feel unmotivated to continue on. Luckily, in most cases, he'd bounce back up, feeling antsy and wanting to play once again, wanting to feel the sting against his palm as the ball went ' _whoosh_ ' past the other teams' blockers and hit the floor with a satisfying smack. When he'd go in for the kill and the blockers would line up to stop him, getting tricked by his convincing dump shot. Those were the moments he lived for.

Unfortunately, he felt as if they were slipping away from him.

The university students were _good_. Sure, he had received some recognition due to being one of the top five aces in high school, but that was just a stepping-stone. Now, he had to work his ass off with people who didn't understand him. Akaashi had gone to another university, as did the rest of the team. Sure, Kuroo was around but he didn't understand. And as much as Oikawa did well, once Bokuto lost faith in his abilities he'd be out for the rest of the game. He didn't bounce back. Not once since he left Fukurodani.

It was only when Akaashi visited for the break did he get found out.

With his previous setter, it was as if he went back in time. When the two of them hung out the last few days with Kuroo, Bokuto couldn't help but wonder why the middle blocker kept glancing warily at him. Once Akaashi left, Kuroo invited himself over to Bokuto's tiny apartment and suddenly he felt trapped, not yet knowing the reason why. Kuroo would look at him, narrowed eyes calculating before he'd furrow his brows.

Bokuto looked at him wide-eyed in confusion. Then Kuroo would give him a tight hug, keeping the other in his arms as he spoke, and the owl's façade would come tumbling down.

"What happened, bro?" An innocent question that held a darker answer than what one would have expected from some a cheery man. They remained in the same position until Kuroo felt the other shake, the hug getting even tighter than it had before.

"I suck," the former ace muttered, "the one thing that I was good at and now it's gone." This past few month he was in very few practice matches, at least compared to when they began. Not only was it due to his so-called dejected mode, but Bokuto had began saying that he wasn't good enough, laughing it off as he spoke the words, saying that someone else of more value to the team should go on. No one needed a wing spiker that would get blocked, that would fail.

Kuroo said nothing as he felt Bokuto bury his face in the cat's neck, feeling the other's tears on his skin.

"I can't do anything right. I shouldn't even be on the team as a bench warmer, let alone a wing spiker…" It hurt. It hurt to say that, but he was certain it was true. He wasn't even an ace anymore, something he prided himself with in high school. Bokuto gripped onto Kuroo's shoulders harder, blunt nails seeming to try and grip onto his teammates skin, though the other didn't make any complaint. "Pra-practicing with you 'n Oikawa are th-are the only reason I still show up. I don't want," he sniffled, nose running onto Kuroo's shirt as he babbled away, thankful that his friend didn't push him away, "I don't wanna leave but I have to. I'm no good. I'm terrible. The worst. I can't do it any-anymore." There was a hand brushing through his hair as he continued to cry, repeating how horrible he was, how useless, how he didn't deserve his spot on the team. How he was stupid at everything else.

How no one needed him.

Kuroo wasn't sure when he started crying too. He tried to stay strong for his friend. He wanted to listen to his problem and solve everything. But now, he was reduced to a crying mess because Bokuto didn't deserve any of this. Didn't deserve such negative thoughts and to think he had only just found out? He was a terrible friend. "K-kou," Was all he could manage, voice cracking as he swallowed one shaky breath after another, both letting out their emotions. He didn't know what to do. "I need you, Kou," he finally managed, murmuring into Bokuto's ear, "I'll always need you."

They don't know how they end up in Bokuto's tiny bed, crying to sleep in each other's arms.


End file.
